First of all, if you just started seeing this guy, stop thinking about marriage! Stick with the dating and try to focus on what's happening with you two now. By the way, if you try to figure out what's 'normal' you'll drive yourself nuts. Forget 'normal' and just concentrate on what you're comfortable with and what you're not.

More of my 2 cents...

1. Lots of people experiment/have sex with people of the same sex at some point and this does not necessarily mean that they consider themselves gay or bisexual.
   
   
2. A lot of guys enjoy anal stimulation, or would, if they were brave enough to gave it a try. This has nothing to do with their sexuality.
   
   
3. Many toys closely or vaguely resemble male or female body parts, so don't let that freak you out.
   
   
4. He's an insensitive dickhead for trying to make you feel bad about being 'the only girl' to 'not understand.' If you're dating this guy (and especially if you're thinking of marrying him), you have the right to ask some questions. He may not be able to answer them all, but you can still ask.
   
   
5. He's a stupid dickhead for saying all women are bisexual. I think the majority of men want to believe this, but just believing don't make it so or I'd be a rock star by now. Hell, some people think EVERYONE is bisexual (and part of me really digs this theory because I think we all have the potential to be anything), but my view is that everyone should concentrate more on their own sexuality and stop trying to label everyone else.
   
   
6. Personally, I think sexuality is not static. You may never be sexually attracted to a woman in your whole life. Or you might meet some hot woman who changes your life. Who knows? This guy may not want to be with another man sexually ever again. Or maybe he will. Or maybe he will want to have sex with another woman. Most people want different things at different points in their lives. Some people are more open to diffferent experiences. Some people won't even let themselves think about the possibility of something different. The point is, there are no guarantees in ANY relationship that your partner won't cheat on you or fall out of love with you or leave you for someone else, male or female. He could consider himself bisexual or gay later on down the track.
   
   

Plenty of guys (and girls) are in denial about their sexuality even if they're (as Miranda from Sex & the City would say) "Gay as pink suede."

I know this is not very comforting. You can always give up and stick to sex toys like me, however, remember, a lot of them resemble male/female body parts and this might disturb you....

You really will need to just go with your gut. If you can't get over his sexual past, then you're never going to work out in the present or in the future. And it's your choice whether or not you WANT to get over it and you are not a bad person if you don't want to get over it. It's just a personal choice.

Some questions... Are you two having sex? You didn't mention this, unless I passed out while reading you question. If he only wants you to give it to him from behind with the harness, and won't have intercourse with you or go down on you, get the hell out of there. That's just selfish and rude. And if you're only using the strap on because you're afraid he'll go out and have sex with a man, then perhaps you should put the schlong harness down and ask yourself, "What am I getting out of this, other than a bad back?" Is he doing anything special for you in return?

Good luck and don't forget the lube...

I wasn't aware that Editor Steve was dating an older woman! (Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all night.)

Regardless, the real issue at hand is, what are you doing to get over your blatant homophobia? I mean, it's not like this guy has given head to 4 or 5 guys. It was only 3, and in the words of the late, great John Ritter, "Three's Company." Surely it's no coincidence that on that show, John Ritter played a character who was NOT gay, but only pretended to be gay. The parallels here are almost too much to comprehend.

As for putting his toys where the sun don't shine, I believe that may stem back to his childhood. Maybe he had a lot of siblings, and intially developed this interest as a way of keeping some grubby brother away from his GI Joes. They don't give those figures Kung-Fu grip for nothing you know. Though I can't help but feel bad for the poor proctologist who eventually uncovers what happened to Cobra Commander's detachable ray gun.

So you see, so this man isn't simply 'gay.' And I bet he's not even a pot smoker. He probably just picked up the habit due to your constant nagging. So kick back and watch some TV. It'll help you relax, and, if need be, you could always turn up the volume to drown out the sound of your boyfriend and his platonic male friend having sex in the next room.

Hi.

Wow, I can feel your anxiety just jumping off the screen, and really I think that's the issue here, more than how many guys your man has blown. So your guy likes to get it from behind sometimes. That's cool. Watch Y Tu Maman Tambien, there's a scene where the female lead is telling her two young male friends about how she likes to wiggle a finger up her husband's ass. Everyone has different magic spots, and there's nothing wrong or weird about it. Personally, I can get off with much more intensity from a guy softly kissing my back than I can with regular intercourse. I have no idea why, but it just drives me wild.

So the real issue here is whether you can be in a relationship with someone who's a little more playful and frisky in the bedroom than you are. It sounds like you can't. If you are only interested in conventional sex, where a man does man things and a woman does woman things, then you need to find a sexual partner who feels the same way. Even if every other aspect of your relationship is fantastic, if he's bored in bed and you lie awake every night afraid to turn your back on him (should he try to sneak something into you) you're just going to piss each other off.

If you're willing to experiment then give these things a try, at least once. You might enjoy a little kink. If you can't even think about it then end it now before you find yourself in over your head.

Well, you certainly have a difficult situation here. May I advise you with a classic french expression. I learned it in prison when I was serving 10 for Aggravated Assault and Manslaughter with piece of vegetation. I remember my bunk-mate, bodyguard, and "secret boyfriend" Francisco looking down at me with those insanity laden eyes, foam dripping from his mouth, as he tried ever so delicately to form those five words that will forever echo through my mind.

"GET. THE. FUCK. OUT NOW."

After that he banged my head against the bars until it actually fit through them, and the proceeded to try to etch a functional scrabble set out of my back. But, for what it was worth, he warned me, gave me all the signs that he was going to do it, and i just didn't listen.

Don't let your boyfriend make a scrabble set out of your ass. You'll need it someday.

Joshua "Prisoner #23DO314" Hale Fialkov