| Manolo Moreno, A Non-Ukranian Staff Writer |
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Bio:
Freelance slave.
Heavy Rotation:
Chet Baker, Fourtet, Akron, Eels, Bogdan Raczynski, Clinic, Atmosphere, Dose One, and Aaron Carter.
Favorite Flick:
Audia, Elephant Man, Crumb, CQ, Dog Day Afternoon, Max, and Happiness.
Celebrity Crush:
"Baby Head" from the Gilmore Girls, and Speed Buggy.
Junk Food of Choice:
Salt n' vinegar chips, Cheetos, and nachos.
Alternate Location on the Web:
www.unknownharold.com
Articles:
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Ambiguously Bi Boyfriend 
Man, the advice requests are getting more and more disturbing. Please, someone ask something geeky and fun!
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Mesothelioma, Asbestos Lawsuits, and Scam Artists
Mesothelioma and other asbestos lawsuits are fetching millions. One shady reader wants to get in on the action.
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Dumb Cheap Shots at the Dumb Cheap Shooter's Shots 
Making fun of original stuff originally is just getting more and more difficult these days.
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Clay Aiken Live at Wachovia Arena 
Can someone check in on Manolo's sanity? He's following up a Lion King 1.5 review with a little ditty about Clay Aiken.
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McDonald's Steak and Egg Bagel Sandwich
It would totally rock if KFC made an Original Recipe Chicken Skin, Egg, and Bacon Breakfast Biscuit!
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Lion King 1 1/2 1 1/4 Thumbs Up
Straight-to-video Disney movies rock Manolo's world like earthquakes of miniscule magnitude.
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House of the Dead Should Be a Movie
One of the Newmoanyeah staffers is talking about zombies and it AIN'T Johnathan. What up, Manolo?
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2003 Staff Picks
Find out what floats the boats of Newmoanyeah staffers from the not-so-distant 2003.
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Clay Aiken is My Mama's Boy
This is a heartwarming tale of staggering genius about a boy, a mother, and American Idol's Clay Aiken.
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Ugly Alyssa?
A strange unspecified advice request involving a turtle-like girl named Alyssa. Who's the boss?
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T3 DVD: Schwarzenegger and Breasts of All Sizes
If Arnie didn't make it as a body builder, an actor, and a politician, I'm sure he would've excelled as a Japanese subway groper.
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Dumb Cheap Shots at Some Holidays, Briefly
And by some holidays, Manolo basically means Halloween. Read on for something funny about costumes.
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Hot Guy and the Girl She Can't Stand
Editor Steve is suddenly concerned that the Newmoanyeah audience now consists of 14 year old girls.
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The Loner's Guide to Dining Out
Another bizarre contribution from Non-Unkranian Staffer Manolo... this time about putting things in his mouth.
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From Justin to Kelly to the Hearts of Rented Videos-Goers
Believe it or not, this WASN'T a Sadistic Assigned Review. Manolo did this to himself. Yeeeesh.
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Boyfriend Suddenly Bi
We have the largest group of sex/relationship dysfunctional readers on the entire web. (Not verified by scientific study.)
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Kournikova and Amazon Unite for Creepy Lust and Charity
Does anyone else keep getting this as part of the suggestions on their "customized" Amazon front page?
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Vampires Sexier Than Werewolves?
More beastiality and doggie style jokes than you can shake a stick at... and play fetch with.
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Editor Steve for Fake Governor
Because of this article, I'll never ever be able to run for any REAL office. Oh well.
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Anal Sex and Incontinence
Surprisingly helpful info for guy concerned about riding his girlfriend's Doo Doo Choo Choo too frequently.
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You Can Read It! A Real Excerpt from a Fake Book
Better than Hooked on Phonics! Better than sliced bread! Less real than the Smurfs!
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Sta-Erect Delay Cream for Men: HARDly a Review
First and foremost, the product works. Manolo said so. (Outro: 70s porn music... *bownk chika bown bown...*)
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Children's Book Review for Kids
In case you're REALLY slow, this review is not at all intended for kids. So, please don't email with complaints.
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Lowbacca in Harvard Square
Editor Steve's original Star Wars Expanded Universe art collection grows with this fabulous contribution from Manolo!
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Dumb Cheap Shots at White Babies
"All in the name of humor." Please repeat that mantra if you find yourself offended.
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Newmoanyeah.com Does TheCliffGuy.com
Well, it's more like "Manolo does the cliff guy," but that ain't exactly right either...
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Farewell Buffy Week
A week of Buffy the Vampire Slayer coverage, including staff reactions to the series finale.
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A Buffy Virgin's Penultimate Rundown
Manolo has NEVER seen an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Hilarity ensues in this episode review.
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Buffy-less Tuesdays
Damn! Now that Buffy is ending, what the Hellmouth are you going to do with your Tuesday nights?
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New Makeover... Yeah
A classic story of before and happily ever after that will touch your hearts for at least 15 seconds.
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Sex Manual Recommendations
Kama Kama Kama Kama Kama Sutrameleon... you COME and go... you COME and gooooo!
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The Unborn Debut: Tips for Our Fetal Readers
Never let it be said that Manolo and Johnathan are two of the less imaginative Newmoanyeah-ers.
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Tough Crowd is Mean Like Jazz
Is it me, or does it seem like Colin Quinn struggles at everything he does?
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Slightly Shorter Like Me
Experience the fast-paced world of being "slightly taller" by wearing TWO pairs of socks!
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Method & System for Allocating Display Space for Dummies
Manolo was caught unawares by a very unique Sadistic Assigned Review with ties to Amazon.com.
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The Promise of Akron
A late night/early morning interview with vodka-filled rockers at Denny's. Mmm... Moons Over My Hammy!
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The New Art of Protest
Bringing you the latest and greatest in creative protesting since 2002. (That doesn't sound very impressive, does it?)
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American Idol: A Frenchie Davis Account
Get the inside scoop on Frenchie Davis direct from an American Idol contestant's older brother!
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Quick Guide to Stalking
This article contains a section on "Stalking Tools," not to be confused with "Talking Stools."
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Swappingtons.com
Hmm... there USED TO BE a site called JustZero.com that did something very similar to this site. Trade CDs and stuff!
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The Pro: A Good Comic About a Whore
Garth Ennis' crude superhero satire starring a hooker, umm... hooks Manolo!
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Worst of 2002
Last week, you got the staff's "Best of 2002" picks. This week, find out what we thought sucked.
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2002 Staff Picks
The newmoanyeah staff picks their favorite albums, movies, and random things from 2002.
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Keeping New Years Resolutions
Advice on how to keep your New Years resolutions... for once. Inventive! Gargantuan! Dashing! Rico Suavé!
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13 Conversations... vs. Halloween: Resurrection
A movie review battle to rival all movie review battles! Will Manolo sober up? Will boobies prevail? WOW!
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A Hungover Review of Ketel One Vodka
Heh heh heh... Manolo took one for the team by taking notes as he blitzed himself on Ketel One Vodka.
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What to Get a Non-Geek For X-mas
A reader needs help shopping for his girlfriend. 3 out of 4 newmoanyeah staffers completely unhelpful!
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Dumb Cheap Shots at the Baby Dangler
Newmoanyeah is all about current events, yo. Err... sorta. Well... not really.
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In the Beginning: A Jack Chick Comic Reviewed
In the beginning, I couldn't tell if the original comic strip was a joke or not. Manolo sets me straight.
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An American Idol Tale: Steps to Rejection
Get the early scoop on the sequel to Fox's smash hit American Idol.
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How Do Hutts Have Sex?
Jabba obviously had a thing for scantily-clad humanoids, but just how do Hutts reproduce with other Hutts?
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Relove the Aguilera
Our Non-Ukranian staffer gives a Non-Ukranian review of Ms. Aguilera's live performance on Letterman.
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Dumb Cheap Shots for Psychic Shows
Crossing Over with Manolo Moreno (accompanied by Johnathan Mason) with his smart mouth and computer in tow.
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A Book Review by Someone Who Can't Read Well
Manolo tackled "Hooked on Phonics" and then moved on to Dave Eggers' A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.
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World's Most Effective Pick-Up Line Proclaimed
Yeah yeah... you've read all about the "World's Funniest Joke." Watch our Non-Ukranian Staffer one-up that study.
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Proper Butt Care
Four newmoanyeah staffers eloquently inform a hirsute reader on the best way to wipe (or not wipe) his ass.
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M. Night Shyamalan Film Construction Kit
You, too, can produce blockbuster movie hits in the M. Night Shyamalan vein.
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Amelie Poulain vs. Selma Jezkova
Our Non-Ukranian Staffer presents us with a theoretical duel to the pain between some foreign dancer chicks.
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Pacing is Pacerific
A review on pacing. Yes, pacing. Y'know... pacing. Like, walking around: pacing.
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